I want to be a toilet man. I don't know a lot about toilets but I think I have enough pipes to start on this project, just need glue and a graphic designer. I will make myself into a toilet and be in public places for people to use. I like people and I am very friendly. Do a shit on me and in me. This face is the right place for your urine trough. I would like to be a toilet and if that is not possible I would like to be dead. Thank you for funding my project.
By Keven Stivins
Ever wanted to shoot a fireman? This realistic tactical simulator makes your dreams come true as you seek to tear down the fascist system that controls our oppressive society. Watch the foundation crumble as you murder the servants of the state with machine guns, grenades and, of course, fire. Includes Four maps "FIRE HOUSE SLAUGHTER," "FIVE ALARM MASSACRE," "MY HOUSE," based on my real house, and "REVENGE OF FIRE." Working on the website now I need someone experienced with 3D computer games, someone who can read to me, a woman who is beautiful and dislikes firemen and would never cheat on me with a fireman, and a driver to take me around town with my woman. Thanks for reading.
When I was engaged I got pregnant (but miscarried) and my husband was out of work at the time we were married so we went to the Ozarks for our honeymoon. I had my miscarriage in the bathroom of a Flying J and the baby was so big for ten weeks that we had to call the police. It was covered with hair and had black, devil eyes so I am pretty sure I was going to be the devil's mother. Since then I haven't enjoyed a vacation because all I can think about is that baby in the Flying J toilet. It had a little monkey face. We went to Vegas but it wasn't fun because of that. I would like to go to Paris.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.