FELLOWSHIP OF JUGGALOS, submitted by Kaptain Kill. Not to rain on anybody's parade here, but I have a shocking revelation to announce throughout the world: YOU ARE NOT IN AN EXCLUSIVE CLUB JUST BECAUSE YOU WEAR MAKEUP AND LISTEN TO RAP MUSIC. Here's something even more Earth-shattering: YOU ARE NOT IN AN EXCLUSIVE CLUB BECAUSE YOU ARE AN UNEMPLOYED WHITE PERSON WHO DRESSES LIKE A CLOWN. The "Fellowship of Juggalos" takes this brand of redneck idiocy a few hundred steps even further, comparing their lust for untalented white trash shit rap music to a religious experience. While I'm sure drinking discount soda, wearing women's makeup, and watching VHS copies of backyard wrestling while popping in the newest Insane Clown Posse CD must be an absolutely breathtaking experience ranking up there with singlehandedly destroying the moon, I somehow fail to see the relationship it has to an organized religion, except possibly for the repressed blatant homosexuality.
The mission of the Fellowship of Juggalos is to give back what Greed has taken and to Unite the Family once more... To prove to the world that Strength comes in numbers... To show our voice of Peace to those who are open-minded enough to hear it... The Fellowship made a commitment to the Juggalo Family to help every Juggalo Emotionally, Socially, and Financially... As a Fellowship we help each other Emotionally by providing a shoulder to cry on... We can also help each other Socially by reducing hate and fear and by showing the world the merciful side of the Carnival... Finally we can help each other by pulling ourselves out of the Financial hole that we sit in on a daily basis...
Let's hope this "family" goes the way of the Jim Jones family sometime soon. Just tell them the Kool Aid is Faygo! They won't be able to tell with all that white clown semen crap in their eyes!
PS: Hahaha, they have an entire forum dedicated to Juggalo sermons. Oh yeah, I really wanted some moist, obese, makeup wearing blob of white trash to lecture me on how to live my life the TRU NINJA JUGGALO way. Gee "†…Rev_Wicked_Wyatt…†©," I really want to covet my "ninja's" significant other, what should I do? Ha ha, I am of course kidding, you can tell that I'm not a real Juggalo because I know how to spell the word "significant." And the word "other." And my own name. I guess I really shouldn't be so mean and prejudice against Insane Clown Posse fans. I mean, they aren't all bad. For example, there are the ones who get really depressed and commit suicide. They're fine by me.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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