ASFR Fiction, submitted by Picard. For those of you innocent little noobs who don't know, ASFR stands for alt.sex.fetish.robots, and is a growing fetish in the Internet community as more and more sophisticated robots are being built everyday. Soon our robot overloads will be able to pleasure us with their cold, steal claws. That is the 2nd phase of the robot takeover. The 3rd phase is when they pull off our penises with their cold metal claws and hook us up to the Matrix, but then their server crashes and we all die and the robots run out of energy. It's gonna be an awesome future.
Anyway, this is a site that specializes in robot sex stories. Here is just a sample from our favorite android, Data, as he tried to grasp the human emotion of love, and why he was built with a penis. Enjoy.
Her nipples were already hard when he teased them with his hot, moist tongue. He nibbled at and then bit her breasts, and she screamed with excitement and pain. He worked himself lower down her body. She let out a soft moan when he began to taste her female flavor and squirmed under his touch. Her handcuffed hands began to ache under her buttocks. Her internal clock counted the seconds, noticing that only 4.32 minutes had passed before he fiercely thrust into her. She was afraid she could not take him. "No!" she cried. "I'm shattering!" "No, you're not", he said roughly, and pushed into her even deeper, his organ slipping in her juices, like a piston in a powerful motor.
It was just then when her comm badge chirped. "La Forge to Ensign Morris. We need your help in Engineering. We have a serious computer problem here!""La Forge to Captain. Sir, we've got a major problem. That shuttle leaving during Warp flight has destabilized the warp shell. We're about to enter a worm..."
The Captain attempted to bark orders, but his voice was extended and distorted by the wormhole effect. "He-e-e-e-l-l- l-l-m, t-a-a-k-k-e u-u-u-u-s o-o-o-o-u-t-t-t-t o-o-o-o-f w-w- w-a-a--a--a----a----a----r---p." The effect grew worse as the seconds passed. The primary danger in a wormhole was striking an object which had been pulled into to distortion field along with the ship. Picard knew that if there was anything already in the wormhole with them, or if anything entered the wormhole with them, the result could be total destruction."
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.