Everything About Irvine, submitted by Wikipedia. It's everything you'd ever want to know about Irvine! WOW!

The layout of Irvine was designed by the famous Los Angeles architect William Pereira, and is divided into townships (called villages) that are self-contained except for income-generating activities. The townships are separated by six-lane streets. Each township includes a spectrum of similar types of dwellings, along with shopping, religious institutions and schools. Commercial districts are checker-boarded in a periphery around the central townships.

All streets have landscaping allowances. Rights-of-way for powerlines also serve as bicycle corridors, parks and greenbelts to tie together ecological preserves. The greenery is irrigated with reclaimed water.

Many of the homeowner's associations are extremely powerful, controlling every facet of the appearance of one's home, including color, roofing, and landscaping. Even trivial matters such as the allowable types of cars parked outside of one's home are dictated by associations.

If I'm murdered within the next two years, it's probably because the Homeowner's Association put a hit out on me for publicly dissing Irvine.

– Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.