The No-no Site, submitted by Wooley Rob. Want to become a career criminal? Or at least end up in jail for being a raging idiot? Then this site is for you, my good friend. For a great example, check out the detailed instructions on "How to Steal":
Wear baggy cloths with big enough pockets to hid the iteam
Quickly put it in your pocket when noone is looking
If no one is notifyed after awhile walk out and look like your waiting for a ride
Get the fuck out of there
Maybe, for some inexplicable reason, you're not interested in stealing something. No, you want to know how to grow marijuana! Luckily for you, the No-no site tackles this complex subject as well - by providing an unbelievably long, rambling, cut and paste orgy of words taken from other sites. Whee!
High latitude sativas have the same general characteristics: they tend to mature early, have compact short branches and wide, short leaves which are dark green, sometimes tinged purple. Indica buds are usually tight, heavy, wide and thick rather than long. They smell "stinky", "skunky", or "pungent" and their smoke is thick - a small toke can induce coughing. The best indicas have a relaxing "social high" which allow one to sense and feel the environment but do not lead to thinking about or analyzing the experience. Cannabis sativa plants are found throughout the world. Potent varieties such as Colombian, Panamanian, Mexican, Nigerian, Congolese, Indian and Thai are found in equatorial zones. These plants require a long time to mature and ordinarily grow in areas where they have a long season. They are usually very potent, containing large quanities of THC and virtually no CBD. They have long, medium-thick buds when they are grown in full equatorial sun, but under artificial light or even under the temperate sun, the buds tend to run (not fill out completely). The buds usually smell sweet or tangy and the smoke is smooth, sometimes deceptively so. The THC to CBD ratio of sativa plants gets lower as the plants are found further from the equator. Jamaican and Central Mexican varieties are found at the 15-20th latitudes. At the 30th latitude, varieties such as Southern African and Northern Mexican are variable and may contain equal amounts of THC and CBD, giving the smoker and buzzy, confusing high. These plants are used mostly for hybridizing. Plants found above the 30th latitude usually have low levels of THC, with high levels of CBD and are considered hemp. If indica and sativa varieties are considered opposite ends of a spectrum, most plants fall in between the spectrum. Because of marijuana and hemp's long symbiotic relationship with humans, seeds are constantly procured or traded so that virtually all populations have been mixed with foreign plants at one time or another. Even in traditional marijuana-growing countries, the marijuana is often the result of several cross lines.
And it goes on and on like this until you want to smoke a pound of weed just to make reading this site entertaining.I take no responsibility for anybody who follows this page's detailed instructions and ends up in prison. Or dead. Or both.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.