ELECTRONIC E-HOE ESCORTS, submitted by Squidl0. How does a page like this come to exist? Does somebody wake up one day, jump out of bed, and exclaim, "I want to whore myself on an Angelfire homepage"?

Welcome to the homepage of the Electronic Ehoe Escorts. These men are here to make sure you are pleased with your "X"- pierence with them. We have one for each type of girl...or boy. These men are here to please and will go to great lengths to do it. Whether it be a night on the town or hardcore raving these fine young men will do it. We have a man for every type of person. If soft and romatic is your thing or hard and kinky we can please you.

With names like "Luscious Lerch" and "Fuckable Fruitloop", I somehow doubt that.

PS: Here's a link to their guestbook. Gee, would anybody like to place a bet that some of the more "witty" SA readers will make comments utilizing the word "fagot"?

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.