The Thought Factory, submitted by Coal. Some of my most favorite websites on this wacky rollercoaster of a ride we call "The Internet" has to be the horrible graphic / webpage designers that think they're God's gift to the world of HTML. Now I'll admit it right now: I have absolutely no HTML, graphic design, or programming skills. You can instantly tell these things upon loading this site, which I designed myself. However, I don't have the gall or stupidity to pass myself off as a webdesigner, much less a graphics pro. This is where sites like "The Thought Factory" come in, chucking up aliased chunks of putrid graphical insults and a layout design which resembles a blind handicapped kid who tossed out randomly-colored squares all across a graffiti-covered highway underpass that's been soaking in bum urine for the past three decades.

We specialise in providing an excellent quality reproduction of your original. If you need to discuss any requirements please don't hesitate to ring Elaine or Jane

Yeah, I'd like to discuss a few "requirements" for you, Elaine or Jane! Like how come there's apparently some requirement for you to start up a very, very, very bad graphics company and pass yourself off as a "professional" on the Internet? Here's another requirement I'd like to ask you: how many braincells are required to think that a neon green and brown color scheme is a good idea? 5? 9? 11? I need to know quickly because I'm thinking of bashing my head against a cinder block and I need to know roughly when to stop.

PS: Take note of the fanciful opening introduction sequence to their site, which I believe shows two large balls of sperm flying through space. To add insult to injury, this is all done via the miracle of Javascript, the same programming language that brought you such winners as the popup "HELLO! WELCOME TO MY SITE! PLEASE ENTER YOUR NAME HERE!" window feature. They could probably trim their Javascript nightmares from 100 megs down to about 2k if they just used Flash, but even better, they could trim them down to 0k by merely shutting down their website. But hey, what do I know, I'm not a graphics specialist like these people!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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