This article is part of the TerrorBear series.
The following transcribed ABC 7 news broadcast occurred on August 22, 2010. Some images have been omitted, due to their graphic nature. For related information on this topic, please resort to previously released documents.
I want my bed to look like the health department is checking for bedbugs. I want to feel like it’s on an episode of Maury getting scanned for semen.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.