This article is part of the TerrorBear series.
The following transcribed ABC 7 news broadcast occurred on August 22, 2010. Some images have been omitted, due to their graphic nature. For related information on this topic, please resort to previously released documents.
The first time "fast", "decisive", and "efficient" could have been used to describe the Minecraft development team was when they snatched the $2.5 billion dollar check out of Microsoft's sweaty, shaking hand.
Paleo guru and definite non-idiot Luke K. clears the air about some of your favorite pumpkin treats this holiday season. Also he weighs in on the controversy surrounding a paleo wedding cake.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.