Still haven't planned your summer vacation? Consider The Great Horror Campout, where you can pay some guys in Halloween costumes to pretend-torture you in the middle of the woods. Legitimately this time!
Sponsored by the cinematic classics Wrong Turn 6 and Joy Ride 3, The Great Horror Campout offers a "high scare, high startle content experience." Simply browsing the website is a content experience in itself, with generic horror music music that auto-plays and spooky stock images on each page. Wait, what's spooky about an old guy with an axe in a forest? Oh, we're just supposed to assume he's going to murder that family? I'd say the real monster here is prejudice.
Campers can choose from two adventures: VERY EXTREME and less extreme. Beware the bathrooms, which are apparently a "High Startle" area... especially when you see what the wolfman left behind!!!
Just remember, as the site keeps reminding you, you won't be in any real danger. That said, be sure to follow these important Safety guidelines:
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
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