John K's Blog (thanks me) - Since my update today is about an animation website (and if you're not in the 2% demographic nerdy enough to understand, it's a parody of this one), I think today's Awful Link is very appropriate. And since I already wrote about it in a previous front page update, that makes it all the more appropriater! Take a foggy trip back to the month of August 2006 to learn about John K's Blog:
If you asked "Who's John Kricfalusi?" then you'd be right. John K. is the creator of the Nickelodeon hit The Ren & Stimpy Show, the Fox Kids blockbuster(???) Ripping Friends and the revival of Ren & Stimpy on Spike TV's wildly successful(NO) animation block, titled "The Gary the Rat Power Hour Brought to you by Bowflex." While John K. had a successful run with three televised cartoon series - two of which are Ren and Stimpy - his Midas touch of failure seems to haunt nearly every project he works on. Here's an example: John K. was one of the first people to conceive of an internet business model based entirely off of web cartoons. I would consider him less of a human tragedy had he created a machine that burns money and is fueled by priceless family heirlooms and immortality potions.
John K. is known for being a lightning rod for controversy in the same way that mole people 3000 feet below the earth scrawling comments about "the Jews" on their cave walls are. Since no one would dare give him money to fund another useless project, John has once again turned his sights to the internet, and like all washed-up "celebrities" has his own blog where he tells you how CARTOONS SHOULD BE and how the world of animation is tragically incomplete now that he is unable to share his unique vision of living up Bob Clampett's dead animator ass with the TV-viewing public. The most disturbing thing about his blog is that it actually delivers interesting historical information, but it must be filtered through John K's rose-tinted laser-guided Nostalgia Vision and his thinly-veiled flirtations with one of his female animators who is in her 20s, who he may or may not be fucking (John K. please confirm this). Just do a CTRL+F for "Katie" and you will find such preceding words as "Goddess," "cute girl artist" and "the only person to know more about Huckleberry Hound than me."
That's pretty much all there is to say. John Kricfalusi is the grumpy old man on the animation industry's porch.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.