RiffTrax uses the slogan "we don't make movies, we make them funny!" By contrast, the guy behind Retard Card selects baseball cards that are already funny, then diminishes the humor value with his witless commentary. Retard Card Dave rehashes his "I'm sure that signature is really valuable" quip whenever he encounters a no-name player's autograph. Other specialties include dispensing no-shit trivia ("As if the name Randy Johnson wasn't phallic enough, his nickname is 'The Big Unit!'") and engaging in sub-sitcom wordplay ("Mike Sweeney. Get it?! Mike's weeney!")
Dave probably does a better job than anyone on the Internet at compiling the baseball cards of players in these categories: a) ugly, with gross facial hair b) dick jokes can be made from their names c) combination of "a" and "b." As for his writing approach, at least he goes with "less is more," but it's probably time for "any is too fucking much."
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.