RiffTrax uses the slogan "we don't make movies, we make them funny!" By contrast, the guy behind Retard Card selects baseball cards that are already funny, then diminishes the humor value with his witless commentary. Retard Card Dave rehashes his "I'm sure that signature is really valuable" quip whenever he encounters a no-name player's autograph. Other specialties include dispensing no-shit trivia ("As if the name Randy Johnson wasn't phallic enough, his nickname is 'The Big Unit!'") and engaging in sub-sitcom wordplay ("Mike Sweeney. Get it?! Mike's weeney!")
Dave probably does a better job than anyone on the Internet at compiling the baseball cards of players in these categories: a) ugly, with gross facial hair b) dick jokes can be made from their names c) combination of "a" and "b." As for his writing approach, at least he goes with "less is more," but it's probably time for "any is too fucking much."
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
To celebrate this week's announcement of Mega Man 11 - the first Mega Man game since Mega Man 6 on the NES - let's remember all the terrific bosses we've faced in this beloved series!
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Buy three Epic Loot Crates for only $7.99, get a free fourth loot crate for only $2.99!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.