January 16, 1967
Love the new story but your title is too dark and confusing to put on our cover. I ran your outline by the boys in marketing and they came up with several alternatives that should appeal to an audience beyond the childless forty-somethings that make up the majority of our subscriber base. Blood clots claimed nearly 20% of our readership last year, so we have no choice but to adapt to a changing market with a shift towards easy-to-understand content and a new Beatles Trivia section Ray Bradbury is launching this summer. Please circle no more than fifteen (15) of your preferred title changes.
In closing, I ask that you please submit your response via the U.S. Postal Service, rather than concealing it inside human excrement and hurling it at my office door.
- Your Editor
Liberals want to mess with the rooms where we poo and pee. Unacceptable. We must protect our poo and pee.
More fake science from the mainstream scientists: Dr. Schrodinger claims cat is dead, but cat is alive and a dog.
These all just look like normal cats to me.
From what I understand, this genre is about getting eaten by crocodiles. I excel at this.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.