January 16, 1967
Love the new story but your title is too dark and confusing to put on our cover. I ran your outline by the boys in marketing and they came up with several alternatives that should appeal to an audience beyond the childless forty-somethings that make up the majority of our subscriber base. Blood clots claimed nearly 20% of our readership last year, so we have no choice but to adapt to a changing market with a shift towards easy-to-understand content and a new Beatles Trivia section Ray Bradbury is launching this summer. Please circle no more than fifteen (15) of your preferred title changes.
In closing, I ask that you please submit your response via the U.S. Postal Service, rather than concealing it inside human excrement and hurling it at my office door.
- Your Editor
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
SUPPRESSIVE DOG is overburdened with body thetans and refuses to cooperate with my attempts to audit him. I have no choice but to disconnect from him and adopt a better dog. 555-1294
I highly recommend Windows 10 With Mouse + Keyboard Support Edition
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