As anyone who's ever listened to Scandinavian metal knows, the life of a Viking can be pretty fucking intense. Vikings are always sounding the horn of bronze and flashing the silver hammer and embracing the endless ocean. There aren't many full-time Viking jobs these days, due to the collapse of the pillaging industry. But you can still freelance!
"When asked 'what do you do?' I usually reply 'I'm a freelance Viking.""
Meet Wayland, a grizzly bushcrafter who stuffs his hobo stove with pine cones and stokes fires with a blow poker. This might seem like a string of whimsical nonsense words, but unlike most of the crap featured in this section, Wayland's site could save your life if you get stranded in a forest. "Why can't I remember those survival tips from that burly outdoorsman?" you might lament while using a blow poker in an ineffective, non-Wayland-approved manner.
I assume the people who submitted this site just wanted me to know how awesome it was, so, thanks. If I ever brave the woods to check in with Gaahl, I'll give Wayland a call. You can visit his site, but leave no trace. Or do, whichever.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
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Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.