As anyone who's ever listened to Scandinavian metal knows, the life of a Viking can be pretty fucking intense. Vikings are always sounding the horn of bronze and flashing the silver hammer and embracing the endless ocean. There aren't many full-time Viking jobs these days, due to the collapse of the pillaging industry. But you can still freelance!
"When asked 'what do you do?' I usually reply 'I'm a freelance Viking.""
Meet Wayland, a grizzly bushcrafter who stuffs his hobo stove with pine cones and stokes fires with a blow poker. This might seem like a string of whimsical nonsense words, but unlike most of the crap featured in this section, Wayland's site could save your life if you get stranded in a forest. "Why can't I remember those survival tips from that burly outdoorsman?" you might lament while using a blow poker in an ineffective, non-Wayland-approved manner.
I assume the people who submitted this site just wanted me to know how awesome it was, so, thanks. If I ever brave the woods to check in with Gaahl, I'll give Wayland a call. You can visit his site, but leave no trace. Or do, whichever.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.