As anyone who's ever listened to Scandinavian metal knows, the life of a Viking can be pretty fucking intense. Vikings are always sounding the horn of bronze and flashing the silver hammer and embracing the endless ocean. There aren't many full-time Viking jobs these days, due to the collapse of the pillaging industry. But you can still freelance!
"When asked 'what do you do?' I usually reply 'I'm a freelance Viking.""
Meet Wayland, a grizzly bushcrafter who stuffs his hobo stove with pine cones and stokes fires with a blow poker. This might seem like a string of whimsical nonsense words, but unlike most of the crap featured in this section, Wayland's site could save your life if you get stranded in a forest. "Why can't I remember those survival tips from that burly outdoorsman?" you might lament while using a blow poker in an ineffective, non-Wayland-approved manner.
I assume the people who submitted this site just wanted me to know how awesome it was, so, thanks. If I ever brave the woods to check in with Gaahl, I'll give Wayland a call. You can visit his site, but leave no trace. Or do, whichever.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.