2012 Unlimited
2012 Unlimited, submitted by Hailey. Oohhhhhh good, this is what I always wanted. Finally, somebody with the guts to tell it like it is! Note that I don't know what "it" is or what they're telling about it, but hey, this site makes the Scientologists seem like intelligent and rational human beings. Which they are, by the way.
This site and our catalogue cover: the Mayan calendar and prophecies, time acceleration, the frequency rise on Earth to a 16 hour day, the Quickening, Philadelphia and Montauk experiments in time, free energy, DNA upgrades, UFOs, extraterrestrials, the shift to 4th and 5th dimension, the Ascension, the synchronisation of earth with the universe. Other material that covers the mind, realities, parallel universes and energy changes.
The Mayan fifth world finished in 1987. The sixth world starts in 2012. So we are currently "between worlds". This time is called the "Apocalypse" or revealing. This means the real truth will be revealed. It is also the time for us to work through "our stuff" individually and collectively.
The Mayan sixth world is actually blank. This means it is up to us, as co-creators, to start creating the new world and civilization we want now.
Ooooh, DNA upgrades! I want to supersize my DNA so I grow to be 500 feet tall and I can wreck buildings and spit flames at enemy jets. That'd be so cool. I think that happens during the Mayan twenty-fifth world, but I'm not sure. I don't have my handy Mayan UltraCalendar handy; I accidentally left it in the 5th dimension.
PS: Make sure to check out this nifty "Hitler and TIME" article, which, for all intents and purposes, makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever.
PPS: There's a guestbook here, but only people from dimensions 1,2, and 5 are allowed to sign it.
This Week on Something Awful...
-
Bad Luck In Bad Company 2
Video Game Article
Bad things will always happen to you, then things will get worse.
-
The Newsom Nuisance
Garbage Day
Joanna Newsom bashers are more annoying than her crazy fans -- and her music itself.
-
The Art of Vampire: The Masquerade (1990s)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack enter the ghoulish art world of Vampire: The Masquerade from the early 1990s.
-
March 16, 2010
Forum Friday's Monday
Forum Friday's Monday spotlights some of the best recent threads on the SA Forums!
-
Meet Uncle Jack!
Comedy Goldmine
The SA forum goons share their disturbing definition of "wacky family adventures."

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.