I'm So Goddamn Skinny!
Subject: lose weight and/or increase energy
Date: Sun, 01 Feb 1998 08:15:53 +0200 (EET)
From: nu3z@rgg62s.net
Reply-To: deb46@starcom1.net
To: KYANKARC@ctrvax.Vanderbilt.EduIve lost over 22 lbs and kept it off I have more energy then I can ever remember, how?? From this exciting 100% all natural herbal product designed to enhance your diet. This supplement is medically proven safe! Not like phen-phen! Need to lose a few pounds? and/or are you tired of being tired all the time? (I was!!) If so, this exciting all natural supplement is for you. You can use it to increase your energy levels and control your weight. If you would like more information, please goto the internet search engines like infoseek and search, using the keyword "Metabolife" shop around, look at the information that you find and decide for yourself.
Take care
To: nu3z@rgg62s.net
Subject: Please help me now please
HELLO I looked all around the web for your "Metabolife" product but I can't seem to find anything! The REASON I was looking to write back to you is because I've got an incredible amount of energy and I'm loooooooosing weight too and I really want to share my secrets with you, becuase we're the same, in the same boat, you and me!!! I wasn't sure about telling anybody about this because it's the best thing in my life and I have a TON of energy and I've lost about 120 lbs and I feel great and I can see through walls and I've got all the powers of the Gods bacause of this miracle drug that's not at all like Fen Fen cause this stuff isn't a weak little pill, you get this in a bag and heat it up in a spoon to put heat energy into the powder that turns into a liquid and it makes you feel GREAT!!!! It's a bit expensive but you probably can sell it cheap with a bulk discount or something, but you need a needle cause that's what the guy who sold it to me said, he said the best way to get it into your system is to inject it cause when you swallow a pill it doesn't work too good cause your stomach digests it and you poop it out (heh heh, poop!) but if its in your blood you get it in your brain, like that soda Mr. Pibb, and POW you lose weight! Maybe you should write to me and I'll tell you who I get this great stuff from if I can get ahold of him because he moves around a lot like me and we're on the go go go, so respond and that'll be great!
THANKS!
This Week on Something Awful...
-
Green Zone; Remember Me
Current Releases
ProfessorClumsy enjoys Green Zone. Slvbarek and Macrame_God double-team Remember Me.
-
SXSW Guide and Anti-Guide 2010!
Garbage Day
The most bafflingly comprehensive guide to the 3/18 SXSW lineup you'll find anywhere!
-
The Original Dungeons & Dragons
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack take a trip back to 1974 and the release of the original D&D books.
-
SUCH A FUCKING FREAK FOR IT!
AwfulVision
Nihilism in the workplace, infantilism, a not so ~R@nDOm~ video and Dannilu!! Play me off, Dildocat!
-
Embarrassing Injuries
Comedy Goldmine
The SA Forum Goons trip over themselves in a clumsy rush to share their stories.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.