From: Benchmark Print Supply
BENCHMARK PRINT SUPPLY
1091 Redstone Lane
Atlanta GA 30338
OUR NEW, LASER/FAX TONER CARTRIDGE,PRICES NOW AS LOW AS $39 & UP
PRICES CHANGE WEEKLY, PLEASE CALL TO GET MOST RECENT PRICING AND AVAILABILITY.
All major credit cards accepted.
Corporate term accounts available with approved credit.
We're open 24 hrs 7 days/week
ORDER FROM BENCHMARK PRINT SUPPLY ONE OF THE LARGEST DISTRIBUTERS OF FAX/PRINTER/COPIER SUPPLIES WITH UNCONDITIONAL 1 YEAR WARRANTY ON ALL PRODUCTS .
Subject: PRINT THIS
Yeah, I'm glad I got this message from you guys. I bought this new fucking printer from a guy and I bring the fucking thing home and take it out of the box and the fucking thing don't got any keys on it to type with, so I call up Bob and say "What the fuck? How am I supposed to print anything with this piece of shit if it ain't got no keys on it?" cause I got to make the newsletters this time or the Grand Wizards gonna kick me out. And he asks me that I don't got any computer, and I say "No, I don't need a computer, because all I gotta do is print shit, not fucking play Space Invaders or nothing" and he says I need a computer, so I go over to his house and beat the shit out of him in front of his wife and wuss kids, cause he didn't say nothing about no computer before, and I DONT LET NOBODY RIP ME OFF. So I bought a fucking computer from some shitbag on 23rd street and plugged it in and nothing fucking happens. I go into WINDOWS 95 and I start typing but I don't get nothing on the screen so I call some fucker at CompUSA and he says I need a WORD PROTESTING program and I gotta pay 50 bucks for it and now I can't afford any more rope and I gotta borrow from Jerry. Now I got all this shit together and I STILL cant type a fucking thing cause the stupid printer dont got any ink in it. Im about to break this fucking thing over my wifes face, cause she thinks she knows it all, fucking bitch. So I got to buy some ink, and maybe youll sell it to me.
Oh yeah, my printers tan colored and says EPSON on it.
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.