2008 Fashion SWAT Halloween Costume Spooktacular!

Description:

Tighty Whitey Adult or Teen Costume

Pull Your Pants Up

Costume includes: Jumpsuit style costume with 'Tighty Whitey' on the shorts. Velcro back enclosure.

Available size:

• One size fits most.

Dr. Thorpenstein: This is just a flawed premise. Have you ever seen someone sagging their pants in briefs?

Zackula: I think that's a Chinese thing.

Dr. Thorpenstein: That shit would get you laughed out the hood.

Zackula: This is the postmodern equivalent of the tuxedo t-shirt.

Zackula: Which I'm pretty sure was postmodern enough already.

Dr. Thorpenstein: You think maybe really rich guys wear this to their yacht parties?

Zackula: Yeah, I can just see George Soros on a yacht with Al Franken taking tiny steps over to the bar to get another flute of champagne.

Zackula: Although this is the perfect costume for people who don't own things like shirts and pants and underwear and dignities. Just guys with a baseball cap and some Timberlands.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Actually, yeah, this would be a really good investment if you're too poor to buy separate clothes and just need one garment that looks like a full outfit.

Zackula: And you don't have to run or bicycle or sit in a normal chair. You just plan on laying on couches and rolling across rooms.

Dr. Thorpenstein: I wonder if they make the equivalent of tuxedo shirts for really poor people, just a jumpsuit with a fake shirt and pants pattern printed on it.

Zackula: We could take it even a step further and have a tuxedo suit where the tuxedo pants are all the way down on the floor.

Dr. Thorpenstein: And the underwear shows, too, because if you're really poor, the illusion of underwear is an important status symbol.

Zackula: And it becomes so popular that a Homeland Security guy dresses up in blackface in an actual tuxedo with the pants down going as a homeless guy in one of your tuxedo jumpsuits.

Dr. Thorpenstein: If I may comment upon the model and not the photo, I really dig his "carrying an imaginary baguette" pose and his super-serious "I have places to go with this baguette" face.

Zackula: It takes an exuberant white man to accurately convey the stupidity of most of these costumes. Calm and serious Asian dude doesn't cut it.

Dr. Thorpenstein: He's lending a little too much credibility to the proceedings.

Zackula: For costumes you need to look as witless as possible and only white guys can pull that off. The sort of serene stupidity of a petting zoo animal set loose in the wild.

Dr. Thorpenstein: I guess maybe he's just really tackling this role with everything he's got because it's the only job for an Asian in the entertainment industry.

Zackula: "Hey, look guys, sorry, we only make one Star Trek a year and one of you is futuristic enough."