Something Awful's New Year's Animated Fireworks Show
It is a new stupid year now, and while some of you are probably excited out of your gourd, I'm sitting here shaking my fist at the computer screen while I type this with my other hand. That's because new years, for me, are just opportunities to remember how badly disappointed I am with everything everyone in the world does. One important thing I've learned about our society is that we have a way of warping and perverting every good piece of technology that comes along, and 2007 was a big year for that. Last year saw the use of hot coffee to purposefully scorch crotches; proud, noble lassos used to wrangle men; and somewhere, someone probably figured out how to bludgeon someone else with a VCR. It would stand to reason that Youtube would pretty much work the same way.
I'd like to reflect on Humanity's uncanny ability to foul everything it invents, but at the same time, it's January 1 and we should celebrate. I was thinking about filling up this page with animated images of fireworks and babies wearing sashes. Instead, please enjoy your Internet fireworks in the form of 3 dozen fat men slapping and rubbing their bellies for your pleasure. Happy new year, Internet! Look upon your own godforsaken works, ye shut-ins, and despair!
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This Week on Something Awful...
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The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
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Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
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LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
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Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.
