Pokemon Go combines our national pastime of compulsively staring at phones with our national pastime of compulsively engaging with franchises while posting about it on Twitter.
Go is pretty much a normal Pokemon game, but it uses your device’s actual location. This means you need to walk around in the real world like some kind of athlete to discover new battles and gyms. Once you find a Pokemon on the Google Maps-ish map, you hold your phone’s camera up and see the little bastard projected onto reality.
The game’s a lot of fun, as the series has always been. It’s also insanely popular. Millions of people are wandering around paying more attention to the Pokemon on their phones than their surroundings. You can see how this would be dangerous. I am the very first person in the world to suggest that this blending of reality and fantasy in Pokemon Go will lead to disaster.
In the coming days there will be all sorts of injuries stemming from the game, and possibly a few deaths. These are my predictions for the first wave of tragic casualties.
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.