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A Future Most Sketchy

Saturday, March 3, 2007 Update by Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell

In 2003, theoretical physicist Michio Kaku assembled the world's first fully functioning time machine out of oily rags and haphazardly stacked crates of dynamite. Over the next three years he visited some of history's most well-known figures with a sketchpad in hand, describing various gadgets and technologies from modern technology to them in the simplest of outlines and asking them to draw their interpretations of these mind-blowing concepts. The results, as you can guess, were mostly childlike in nature and highly inaccurate.

The scientific purpose of his journeys through time have never been explained. Many scientists are of the belief that Kaku was sort of a jerk and that he simply found the drawings amusing. In any case, Kaku's sketch collection came to an abrupt end in late 2006. While working on a particularly stringy section of string field theory, he inadvertently discovered that time travel was, in fact, impossible. From that moment on, his time machine no longer worked.

The drawings Kaku had once adored now served as the bitter reminder of a completely wasted opportunity to advance science, so he shipped them off to the first person who e-mailed him with the correct response to the question "What is pi to the thirteenth decimal point?"

That person was me. The answer was 7.0000000000000. These are some of my favorite sketches.

Toaster
by William Shakespeare

Bidet
by Genghis Khan

The Internet
by Nostradamus

Television
by Joan Of Arc

iPod
by Abraham Lincoln

Space Shuttle
by Louis Braille

Edible Panties
by Nikola Tesla

Segway, The Groundbreaking Invention That Will Change Everything
by Cleopatra

The Wheel
by Albert Einstein

- Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell