My family's holidays are sectioned off by what kind of meat we eat. Turkey for Thanksgiving, Ham for Easter, a pack of Slim-Jims for my Birthday.

I don't know anything about religion, so I hope I don't offend the seven remaining Christians left on the internet.

Livestock's chat logs are extremely popular, so I thought I would try my own spin-off.

Easter Chat with Lowtax

Salmon Season: Hey Rich, Happy Easter
Lowtax is away at 9:02pm
Lowtax returned at 9:50pm
Salmon Season: Hey Rich, welcome back
Salmon Season: Hello?
Salmon Season: I know you're there, your away message just turned off!
Lowtax signed off at 10:08pm
To be continued....

These rabbit gifs are too tall and too festive, but I'm keeping them in.

Happy Easter kids!

Sincerely Booya,

– Ian "Salmon Season" Golding (@iggolding)

More Daily Dirt

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.