It's me PAULO from GAMING GUYZ, the most popular video game themed internet web podcast series ever made EVER. DON'T EVEN BOTHER LOOKING THAT UP, IT'S REAL. AS REAL AS SONIC THE HEDHOG! I know I got lots of fans so I decided to start a TWITTER page. NOT LIKE THAT SACK OF PENNIES ANDY WHO HAS NO FANS AND EVEN HIS OWN MOM HATES HIM! Now you can get by-the-minute news on what's happening in the world of video games and also OF ME! Like today I ate a peanut butter BUT WHAT KIND? You can only find out on twitter.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!