This next work called "This is Not Not a Pipe," pays homage to Gauguin's early Fauvist works. In this one I wanted to show the plight of the so called "starving artist" in today's society, hence the use of green skin and a black outline. I had a little trouble selecting the line weight, I wanted something that would show both rebirth but still have a De Stijl feeling to it. I was able to compromise by employing a minimalist style of coloring and channeling my inner subconscious self. It came out quiet nicely if I do say so myself, and art critics across the world wholeheartedly agree. This one actually got me in a lot of trouble because of its obvious anti-religious themes, causing protest in both Israel and China. You can also see this one at the MoMA, the committee wasn't as bad this time; I think a new shipment of Warhol crap had just come in through the loading dock in back.

Let us now turn our attention to the abstract expressionist piece called "Ocher on Red." As any untrained eye can tell, this piece takes a satirical look at the huge financial gap between the rich and poor. The focal point of this piece is not the left wing as many critics have argued; it is in fact the left foot. The left foot is not connected to the right wing, it is in fact connected to the inner leg... which doesn't exist. This contradiction of images gives the reader a sense of longing and turns their attention to the left wing, the deeper message being that the left wing is the focal point for the bourgeoisie. It's important to see the distinction when studying this marvel. This is not the first time my work has been misinterpreted; at almost every museum I send my work to they will place it next to inferiour paintings by artists like Raffarin and Bien-Être. Don't get my wrong, I respect these artists and their campaign for more recognition to modern-day Les Nabis artists but our styles couldn't be anymore different. It's like comparing apples to Neoclassicist paintings of apples (another little art joke for you).

Here you see my widely successful "Republican Automatons," which gained an incredible amount of popularity, particularly within knowledgeable art circles. Art critic Côte d'Ivoire heralded it as, "a stunning achievement in an art world overrun by the abominations of Warhol and other artists of the filth known as pop-art." You'll notice how the colors seem to flow as if in some mystical ocean. This was intentional, as it combines a feeling of intense melancholy with a sense that you've seen this image in a long forgotten dream. It is very hard for an artist to create something that appeals to both the conscious self but also the level between conscious and subconscious, or the unsubunconscious level. It's certainly not something you can learn at those meat processing plants known as "art academies," and I yearn for the day when those preposterous fools dismount their mighty high horses and realize this.

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.