A lot of people have complained about the level design, but the game fatally crashed before I could see much of it. I do have to compliment the "Daikatana" team on this though: they sure know how to texture rocks! In addition, the "falling rain" effect was particularly effective and well done, and I couldn't notice any obvious errors with it (such as the rain being the color red or falling in the wrong direction, which would be "up"). The constant theme of "things that shoot green sperm" is also exceptional, and it's a total blast to get into a semen fight with the death frogs. Overall, I couldn't find anything terribly bad with the map layout, and to all you people out there who seem to enjoy picking on Miss Killcreek for these levels, let me remind you of one important fact you're forgetting: she has nice breasts.

ION STORM TEAM: "Should we spend a lot of time on making these maps or what?"
POD PEOPLE: (laughing in glee)

So did I miss anything (that I was able to observe before the game crashed)? The AI is terrible, and I routinely saw death mosquitoes fly around, get stuck in a narrow passageway and hover there for a few minutes. The shots from your sperm-blaster have a tendency to bounce off the sky(?), ricochet back, and injure you. Death crocodiles like to sometime never leave the water and attempt to injure you by running in place and making obnoxious sounds. The game music sounds like a Roland XP-50 set to the "techno" preset. Your character's sound effects were apparently lifted from the "Effeminate Cyborg" volume of CD sound effects (available at finer Target's). The only thing more numerous that the bugs which cause the game to crash is the amount of bugs that are actually in the game, attempting to kill you.

I don't mean to be cruel with this review, as I feel bad for John Romero because almost every single website is panning the demo and humiliating the poor guy, but I'm calling it as I see it. The last thing I want to do is jump on the ever-so-popular "Daikatana Sucks" bandwagon and join the army of people who are smacking this game into submission, but there's simply no way around it: this game does indeed suck. Romero didn't make me his bitch with this "Daikatana" demo... but he did make me bitch. However, we must remember that John and Killcreek are not responsible for this mess: most, if not all of the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of the nefarious Pod People who have once again corrupted popular public figures and turned them into laughingstocks. We must stop the Pod People before they strike again and do something even more evil, like zap George Lucas and demand he start making shitty "Star Wars: Episode One" games... oh Lord no, the invasion must have already begun!


Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible 10 score (-10 being the worst, 10 being the best). The overall score is based out of a possible 50 score (-50 being the worst, 50 being the best).

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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