Sky's World of Two Jims, submitted by Meev. If I ever hear my kid say, "you know dad, when I grow up I want to Photoshop gay Starsky and Hutch pictures," you can damn well sure I'd beat the Internet out of him that exact instant. "Sky's World of Two Jims" features not only Starsky and Hutch gay porn, but Star Trek and Sentinel porn Photoshops as well. You know, because this is what people on the Internet want to see! And this is what people on the Internet want to spend their time producing.
It has been 34.9 standard days since I have begun a sexual relationship with Jim. In this period of time he has provided adequate and thorough instructions in the art of lovemaking. Our erotic and exotic encounters have incorporated various, unusual locations, such as a meadow on planet, M113, and the Starboard Observation Deck on the Enterprise. We were even able to perform our sexual rituals on a duplicate Enterprise bridge on the Shoreleave Planet. This last encounter was such a success that Jim is already making plans for a return trip...to fulfill my fantasy, as he is so fond of pointing out.
I just want to grab people who make shit like this and look them straight in the eye and shout, "FOD GOD'S SAKE, DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? YOU ARE SPENDING YOUR TIME CREATING PICTURES OF SPOCK SUCKING CAPTAIN KIRK'S PENIS!" How many hours of copying and pasting fictional TV characters' heads onto bodies in gay porn scenes will it take before something finally clicks and the creator realizes exactly what they're doing? Of course I realize this is the Internet, a place where no matter how psychotic and out of touch with reality you are, there will always be at least one webring of people who share your interest and wholeheartedly support your insanity, thus prolonging and encouraging your demented works of retardedness. Still, I like to imagine and pretend that for at least a split second, logic might somehow find a way to slip into these peoples' brains. It's the dreamer in me.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.