Looking good!This hairdo, which is affectionately dubbed the "Straw Mattress" hairstyle, gave me a wild and carefree look that says, "watch out world, 'cause here I come!" However, the hair color just didn't match my complexion, so I had to pass on it.
In the Year 2000...
Here I am, disguised as Conan O' Brien. If you'll look closely, the ends of the hair on the left are the color of glowing carrots. I am not sure what Conan has in his regular diet, but it probably isn't very healthy.
Mmmm yeah, baby.
Everybody loves a blonde so why don't you? Well, I didn't because of the weird, futuristic style of how the hair was cut on the bottom. It's like somebody took a futuristic laser hair cutter cannon and just chopped off a chunk of hair, causing it to fall to the post-apocolyptic floor where some kind of cleaning robot swept it up and put it in the futuristic, post-apocalyptic trashcan! This was way too much for me to think of and it nearly blew my mind.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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