THIS I BELIEVE
I guess I'm a libertarian though I dislike the word because I don't believe in the gold standard or covert racism or American nationalism or a lot of other things that some self-identified libertarians seem to be into. However, I am a supporter of both laissez-faire economics and civil liberties so it's a better term than anything else and I think coining neologisms to describe one's own philosophy is narcissistic so I'll go with libertarian for now. I'm opposed to the drug war, any form of gun control other than a minimum age, and any immigration laws. I think the standing army should have a 99% cut in budget and personnel and the U.S. should withdraw all of its troops from outside of its borders immediately. I think we owe Iraq some money for reconstruction but our continued military presence there is absolutely disastrous. I would like to see a total separation of marriage and government but in the meantime I endorse gay marriage as a stopgap solution to the equal-rights crisis we are currently in, where heterosexuals have rights that homosexuals do not. I think that people involved in "polyamory," transgenderism, S&M, and probably bisexuality in general are confused or disturbed as the result of traumatic childhoods and should be treated, not indulged, and that the gay rights movement hurts its cause by affiliating with every sexually-defined personality type under the sun since most plain old homosexuals are well-adjusted people capable of stable relationships who are not acting out their pasts, but most transsexuals etc are just crazy; as a result, I think doctors who perform gender-reassignment are behaving unethically. I think racial profiling, torture, and imprisonment without charge are absolute evils that should never be practiced for any reason, but at the same time I acknowledge that Islamic terrorism is a real threat and I am suspicious of the motives of the people who want to ignore it entirely. I think there is something morally wrong with any person who willingly becomes a policeman, soldier, or politician, without exception. I think animal rights, veganism, opposition to GM food and nuclear power, and environmentalism in general are manifestations of a pagan fundamentalism. I think (know) that 99% of homeless people are alcoholic-addicts or schizophrenics and there are essentially no permanently homeless people who are just victims of economic circumstance, but to me this is even more of an argument for finding an effective way to help the homeless. I think you're stupid if you truly believe in religion, but that the vast majority of religious people are just going along for the ride to be socially acceptable. Any person who is opposed to homosexuality or abortion or taking the Ten Commandments out of courthouses or evolution and claims not to be a religious fundamentalist is a liar. Anyone who uses the expression "just as bad" in a religion debate is a moron. I think that the major problems in America today aside from overlarge government are bad parenting and a poor understanding of the latent psychological problems this causes, and people automatically adopting extreme contrarian positions as a response to underlying wrongs--for example, I'm adamantly opposed to the drug war, but I think people who refuse to admit that many drugs are seriously harmful are living in a fantasy world. I don't think there is anything illogical or wrong with saying "heroin should be completely legal for any adult with no restrictions whatsoever, but at the same time there is no good reason to ever use it and anyone who does is making an extremely poor choice." I think Canadians and Britons are on the whole more virulently and illogically nationalistic than Americans and let their outrage at being told what to do by Yankees cloud their judgment when we discuss foreign politics on this board. I think the minimum level of net-worth taxation necessary to sustain the proper functions of a minimal government is justifiable and any further taxation is theft. I think sales taxes or income taxes are horrible methods of taxation in any case. I don't think very many people really want peace in Israel-Palestine and most of the leaders on each side and their cheerleaders on this board just want to kill all the Arabs or all the Jews no matter how they couch their rhetoric. I'm also pretty sure that a lot of gun-ownership opponents really do want to see crime occur. I believe that properly conducted science is always right and there is absolutely no room for non-scientific explanations of anything; this especially means that people who believe in "paranormal phenomena" or "alternative medicine" are invariably scam artists or morons who should be laughed at in either case. I think Muhammad was a pedophile, highway robber, and perpetrator of genocide who came up with an amazingly effective scam to acquire more money and wives. I am not entirely convinced that Jesus ever existed but I think it's likely. I think almost all people who sue businesses are scam artists, and almost all people with back pain are opiate addicts. I think that state governments should take a relatively hard line on child abuse and neglect, including mandating vaccinations and such, and this is not in conflict with my general political philosophy because protecting the child's rights is more important than any fictitious parental right to inflict abuse. I think that fiat money is a-ok and the Federal Reserve is on the whole a good thing that manages the economy well, and a change to voluntary membership by banks is all that is needed to bring it into line with "libertarian" principles. I think that selling quack medical treatments should be illegal by grounds of fraud; this includes all homeopathy, magnetic cures, and non-scientific cancer treatments. I have a sneaking suspicion that every conservative on the Internet is a 50-year-old man with a big mustache who has been off work for the past 12 years with a fake disability claim and is posting from his riding mower. I believe that anyone who expresses the slightest sympathy with creationism should be loudly denounced and insulted until he shuts up, and that arguing with such people only lends them validity. I believe that liberal religion is as basically irrational and destructive as fundamentalism and is often a mask for fundamentalism anyway. I believe that Jimmy Carter is a senile Communist. I believe that I can be a libertarian who enjoys punk rock and NPR. I believe I will keep editing this post as I think of more things to say.
Oh and I guess I said it's okay to shoot a cop who tries to arrest you for pot possesion, so lol.
I guess you could say I had what is often euphemistically termed a "bad childhood." Wont go into too much detail here except to say that through my experiences Ive learned to despise what I see as the moral decay and lack of geometry in our generation. None of you people have been through a fraction of the shit Ive seen, yet you seek some kind of solace in that wonderfully reassuring thought: "I have a problem." Your lives have been perfect and you dont even realize it. You are utter wastes in every sense of the word and I refuse to waste any of my time dealing with your bullshit.
I know this has been addressed many times before, but are you kidding me?
Hitler's atrocities aren't the result of a bunch of liberal hippies saying "Well hey, I have my own beliefs, you have yours, so why don't I just hide my Jews here and you stick yours in ovens and we'll all get along, mm'kay?"
If anything, Hitler's evils came about because people bowed to and practically worshipped an authority figure to the extent that they obeyed his whim without rationally questioning it. There are way more parallels between your Divine Authoritarianist perspective on ethics and Hitler's rule. Do you even see the inherent contrariness in your statement?EDIT: I remember back in elementary school we had to get permission slips to see PG13 movies. Silly now that I think about it, but you can't blame parents for wanting to shield kids from words like "damn" and "funky buttloving."
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.