I believe it was around the watercooler one morning where Dr. David Thorpe, "Friendly" Greg Pollock, and I decided to buy a CB radio and spend our workday breaks riding the ionosphere with some grizzled old roadfolk. The office we work at is only a few hundred yards from Highway 101 in San Jose, which constantly has heavy truck traffic, so the whole idea made a little too much sense. Excited to enter a new world of talking to trucker folk, being delighted by their stories, possibly being threatened with violence, and let's face it-- maybe even sleeping with one of them-- we headed out to the electronics store to grab a unit.

The handheld piece of shit we settled on in the store turned out to pick up nothing but static so we took the thing back the same day, but the spirit lives on. Maybe when one of us gets up the nerve to waste even more money we'll get the full-blast car setup complete with a magnetic antenna for the top of one of our economy cars, but for now we're just preparing mentally. Thanks to the magic of Google Docs' multiplayer spreadsheet functionality, we were able to come up with a list of 300+ potential CB radio handles you're encouraged to adopt and use to delight everyone in your convoy or village.

It should also be noted that a perfectly good list of fantastic names for dogs already exists courtesy of Joshua "Livestock" Boruff and company. Most or all of the names on his list would work fantastically for this purpose too, so you're really looking at something like 500+ names for truckers, dogs, babies, you name it.

  • Boomer
  • Bullfrog
  • Survivor
  • Scooter Slick
  • Needlenose
  • Sidewinder
  • Blackbeard
  • Loveboat
  • Porky
  • Party Ass
  • Piano Man
  • Redline
  • Torque
  • Chopper Rick
  • Musket
  • Heckler
  • Roadhouse
  • Jimmy Dean
  • Mollusk
  • Boss
  • Diamondback
  • Log Boy
  • Kuffs
  • Ten Pounder
  • Chugwolf
  • Socrates
  • No-No
  • Switchblade
  • Steamer
  • Nuggets
  • Homo
  • Freeworld
  • Motherboard
  • Big Dusty
  • Little Dusty
  • Mudking
  • Yellowjacket
  • Hale Bopp
  • No Neck
  • Burly
  • Grillmaster
  • Def Jam
  • Haymaker
  • Whipsaw
  • Tits
  • Mungous
  • Chewbacca Slim
  • Up North
  • Coyote (pronounced KY-oat)
  • Blue Chips
  • Mork From Ork
  • Tumbleweed
  • Rude Bwai
  • Toddler
  • Roughhouse
  • Shit List
  • Mighty Sore
  • Boiler
  • Eyesore
  • Roulette
  • Wildman
  • Le Mans
  • Jawbone
  • Whiteball
  • Whiskey Nip
  • Struggler
  • Horndog
  • Dogpile
  • Piledog
  • Handsome Keith
  • Rhubarb
  • Moonbaby
  • Code Red
  • Baby Corn
  • Shepherd
  • Beastmaster
  • Wolftoucher
  • Daddy-O
  • Jean Jacket
  • Stiff Arm
  • Wiseguy
  • Sugarshorts
  • Biscuit
  • Flatlander
  • Hind Quarters
  • Pigfoot
  • Trouble
  • Truck Nutz
  • Big Rack
  • The Toolman
  • Cavedog
  • Short Stack
  • Wizard
  • The Roller
  • Bird Dog
  • Thinker
  • Hooker
  • Godfather
  • The Pretzel
  • Dashboard
  • Yukon Gold
  • Crackshot
  • Fingers
  • Primer
  • Whistler
  • No-Toes
  • Sawblade
  • The Sexy Elf
  • Bird of Prey
  • Trenchfoot
  • Falcon
  • Cleft
  • Sherbet
  • Mocha
  • Seabird
  • Outboard
  • Seawolf
  • Mad Cat
  • DDT
  • The French Tickler
  • Papercut
  • T-Top
  • Short Leg
  • The Stork
  • Precious
  • Wild Child
  • Chopper
  • Methuselah
  • Stinger
  • Coupon
  • Speedball
  • Octo
  • Squirt
  • Augustus
  • Oops! All Barry
  • Cherry Wine
  • Hubcap
  • Gargoyle
  • Cheese Horn
  • The Guru
  • Tenderfoot
  • Nighthawk
  • Blackbird
  • Pipewrench
  • The Professor
  • Icebox
  • Snake
  • Barnburner
  • Type 2
  • Rambler
  • Whiteboots
  • Driftwood
  • Flounder
  • Stubblechest
  • Humpy
  • Trogg
  • Adonis Truth
  • The Math Man
  • Toadshark
  • King Lear
  • K-Bone
  • Nugroaster
  • Prometheus
  • Taterbug
  • Fantasy
  • Two-Thirds Nelson
  • Baby New Year
  • Giggler
  • Wellwater
  • Dogbender
  • Great Dane
  • Happy Camper
  • Dirtbike
  • Bingo
  • Magnetic North
  • Ticketmaster
  • Dumpling
  • Gumshoe
  • Teapot
  • Scuttlebutt
  • The Rooster
  • Bungler
  • Dart
  • Firecracker
  • 9-Volt
  • Road Tiger
  • Howler
  • The Gremlin
  • Fantastic Pete
  • Tumbler
  • Red
  • Catfish
  • Other Tony
  • Tank
  • Horseplay
  • Guesthouse
  • Winker
  • Tatochip
  • Beandip
  • Tommy Ninefingers
  • The Juggler
  • Big Time
  • Cyberspace
  • Peepaw
  • Jake Fogelnest
  • Hooter
  • Cooter
  • Pooter
  • Flanksteak
  • Sandalwood
  • Nighttime Formula
  • Joey Cuervo
  • Knock-Knock
  • Black Beavis
  • Hondo
  • Oxblood
  • Nuke It
  • Pale Rider
  • Landbird
  • Rugboy
  • Dirtpit
  • Schoolyard
  • Skynyrd
  • Tommy Toga
  • Casino
  • Racehorse
  • Chop Shop
  • Admiral
  • Junkpile
  • The Alarmist
  • The Natural
  • Good Old Roy
  • Due South
  • Silverback
  • Vanagon
  • Yard Sale
  • Pitboss
  • Goose Egg
  • Porno
  • Jock Itch
  • Legman
  • French
  • Scoob
  • Staplegun
  • Stallion
  • Mile-a-Minute
  • Sleeper
  • Peach Pit
  • Cheesesteak
  • Beefhinge
  • Big Loaf
  • The Noid
  • Miracle Man
  • Tops
  • Banknote
  • Backslider
  • Jordache
  • Critter
  • Quarter Note
  • The Yodeler
  • Squeaker
  • Ironsides
  • Douglet
  • Tron
  • Tall Order
  • Cosmic
  • Hell's Bells
  • Codebreaker
  • Naugahyde
  • Babylegs
  • Slippery Jim
  • Flatbread
  • Queso
  • Meatus
  • Banjo
  • Yankee
  • Tangy
  • Ranch Hand
  • Bungalow
  • Fencepost
  • Rumbler
  • Bannister
  • Hoagie
  • Dadgum
  • Magnum
  • Mangum
  • Wheelbarrow
  • Shadow
  • Manticore
  • Magnet
  • Fang
  • Esquire
  • Clockwork
  • Ragdoll
  • Ripple
  • Wingnut
  • Bubbly
  • Shellgame
  • Tingler
  • Curls
  • Wishful Thinkin'
  • Pubert
  • Cue Ball
  • Man-o-War
  • Jazz Bone
  • Dogbed
  • Seatbreaker
  • Towelripper
  • Bloodweiser
  • Texas Toast
  • Wetlook
  • Sexy

@arr and @weedguy420boner contributed their expert knowledge of the road to this list.

– Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)

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