Yo what is up playas???

I am rooting it down here in W-town, gearing up for the mayor rampage and polishing up my GED skizzles. Do I sound like I'm in a good mood? That's because I am. I get to be in a good mood whenever the Palins show their true colors. See, I know about the shed in their back yard you're not supposed to go in. I know about the weird peeing magazines under the boat bench. I have seen all fifteen jar babies mrs. palin has in her towel closet and I have seen the ebay boxes they all came in.

So it was no surprise for a palin expert like me when willow went apeshit on facebook over some dude bagging on bristol's dancing with the stars performance.


Seems pretty rough, but not only is this not the first time willow has flipped her shit on facebook, it's not the first time she did it over bristol's dancing bullshit.

Way back when that shit debuted I updated my facebook page with a link to a thing about the first episode and some totally inconuous thoughts I had on the topic. Just to start a conversation or whatever. So me and Bodie are kidding around and then out of nowhere bristol shows up and we mix it up with her and then, well, classic willow palin facebook meltdown.

I'll just post the picture. The names on some of them are blacked out because they use their real name or they use a super secret name of pallin so only people who know them can find them on facebook.


SEE? Told you. Just one of the many times I had an Internets imborglio with the Palins. Crazy fuckers, and Williow is the craziest of all. She carries around a razorblade in her mouth and I saw her cut up a girls face for not saying excuse me after bumping into her making her spill ice coffee on her sweater.

Beware!

PEACE and happy thanksgiving or whatever!

Levi "HOckey" Johnston

– Levi "HOckey" Johnston

More Johnston Checks In

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

About This Column

Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.