Meooooowwwwww I'm not me, I'm actually my housecat. Meoooowwwwwwwlll. What are we doing with our lives? Meeeeooooowwwwwllllll.
EAT THE CHOCOLATE
Well your flirting with a weird cat lady over the Internet.
Jonas is about to lose his ninth life out of sheer embarrassment.
Oh god, I think someone's about to put the moves on a cat.
Someone doesn't want to go out with "Midnight-Helen"? How is that even possible?
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.