Hydrogen: That guy's down-home country doctor-scientist police chief mannerism is deeply calming to me, much like the sedative they use for lethal injections.
Trillaphon: "Well I'll tell you what pardner, here I was a-monologuin' this and a-soliloquizin' that, right clear 'til that there machine apocalypse done came on."
Hydrogen: "Now see here, miss, I'm going to have to go ahead and take a little pinch of exception with your use of the word "murder" to describe the actions of an artificial life form, from an ontological standpoint, that is."
Trillaphon: Barrett Coldyron: brilliant but mumbly loose cannon science-cop and bumpkin philosopher.
Trillaphon: This seems like a good point to mention that he's in charge of the R.O.T.O.R. program, which involves creating a psychotic cyborg Judge Dredd knockoff with a thick, luscious porn mustache to wander around murdering speeders, reaching for things dramatically, and barking in people's faces.
Hydrogen: The astute viewer may have noticed that they already have one robot on the police force, but it's only programmed to hit on the secretaries and perform bizarre, Twin Peaks-esque dance numbers with the janitor, so it's not likely to put much of a dent in the local criminal underworld.
Trillaphon: It's also pretty good at wearing hats and grumbling to itself about its job like a Flintstones Crappersaurus.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.