Trillaphon: "Alright...who ordered the fucking special?!"
Hydrogen: That guy has a velcro bib that looks like a wifebeater, so he can tear it off repeatedly during fights without having to waste all his money on shirts.
Trillaphon: He's the Edison of our time. We're going to make a fortune when we launch ShirtBib.com.
Hydrogen: This place is like the shitty redneck dive bar from Roadhouse, except in this town the bouncers grab all the scum and throw them into the building.
Trillaphon: I wonder if he rips off that bib when he goes into Red Lobster so that he can put on the lobster bib instead, or if he puts the lobster one over it to keep from getting schmutz on it. Or maybe he just stands there flexing while the wait staff anoint his muscles in clarified butter and slide him back and forth between the kitchen and dining room like a greased up crabeater seal with bus trays all over his back.
Master is troll wizard, so's if he get angry he might cast spell up on my self and bite off my whole head in one chomp.
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
Kirk Cameron destroys the internet with his rage and jacks it to boats, hallelujah!
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.