Ask Emily Anything!
The crazy advice maven is back and she's brought with her a new plethora of sad lives and misery and barrels. I am not sure what the barrels are for. Just head on over to the brand spankin' new Ask Emily column and read what advice she had to give to losers like you.
I would like to ask you a serious question about hot teenage love. There is a girl in my journalism class, and she is very pretty. I fuck around in class all the time, and she always laughs and says 'Gee, you're really funny.' I think she likes me, and I know for a fact that she's single, but I don't know what to do. She thinks I'm funny, likes my jokes, and is very pretty. I want some advice to get into her pantaloons please!
To find out the answer to this and other hard-hitting questions that affect you and will continue to affect you until you DIE, go over there and read the stuff. It's not like I'm saying all of this for my health, you know.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.