This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.
Breed: Bernese Mountain Dog??
Relationship Status: Single.
Location: In and around Shaggy Butte
Rating: (3.2 out of 5 bones)
ePets: Scar has been ePetted 10 times.
EDITOR'S REVIEW: BarkWire junior editor Ron Christianson was sent out to review Scar and never reported back. He has since been let go.
15 Reviews for Scar - Displaying 10-15
v. big dog?? yes
Posted by almam [Read other reviews by almam]
i've never seen a dog this big before. is he for real? is he a good dog? how much does he eat? does he get along with children? please email me. firstname.lastname@example.org! thank you!!
Has been disturbing my trash cans
Posted by smalldogfan [Read other reviews smalldogfan]
THIS PUGNACIOUS POOCH has been molesting my trashcans! Every morning I hear that familiar sound of my trashcans toppling over. Why are they toppling over? Because Scar has toppled them over so he can root through the garbage bags, spreading garbage all over my driveway. I've started keeping my garbage in the garage at night.
I went out to smack him on the nose with a newspaper the other day and he just about took my head off. If he comes around again I am stuffing him into my car and taking him to the pound. No questions ask. Thankfully I have not seen him since winter started.
If you see this dog my advice to you is to smack him on the nose with a newspaper. He may be big, but size isn't everything.
WHO IS OVERFEEDING THIS DOG??
Posted by Selma [Read other reviews by Selma]
Somebody should report Scar's owners for animal abuse. The amount of overfeeding necessary to make a dog this chronically overweight is disgusting. THIS IS ABUSE! What Scar needs most of all is a truly loving master who gives the proper amount of food and promotes regular exercise. Since I don't even know if Scar has a master, I will probably try to take him for a jog. I think he'd enjoy exercise for a change of pace. I just don't want to see the poor fellow suffer a heart attack.
One Inspiring Canine
Posted by KHunter [Read other reviews by KHunter]
Amid the tall trees and dense brush of the forest, I encountered mighty Scar. I will say now to you what I told the doctors who repaired me. It was an honor and a privilege to battle this majestic dog.
Under normal circumstance I do not fight with dogs. But this was a beast with the heart of a warrior, and he saw in me a worthy competitor. I cast aside the berries I had foraged, and steadied my resolve.
Initially, the fight broke in my favor, as I landed a number of swift jabs to Scar's snout. Confident I would secure victory quite easily, I committed the unforgiveable sin of letting my guard down. Scar's mighty paw swept across my face as one might sweep their fingers through the sand of a beach.
He followed this tremendous attack with yet one more even greater than the last! With his magnificent jaw and razor-edged teeth, he bit clean into the bone of my arm, unleashing a torrent of blood in every direction. Panicked, I jabbed a finger into one of his eyeballs, shocking him enough to let go.
After that, we played cat and mouse as I fled my superior enemy for 8 hours through the forest before he finally lost my scent. I, nearly exsanguinated, hobbled out of the forest and collapsed. A short time later I woke up in the hospital.
I now happily recuperate from what was one of the greatest honors bestowed on me: the fight of my life. Should you be so lucky as to encounter Scar, please give it your all, my friend! He will make short work of any less!
NOT A DOG YOU IDIOTS
Posted by BiGDog [Read other reviews by BiGDog]
I know every breed of dog there is by heart, and Scar is not a dog at all. He's obviously some kind of lion or warthog. As to why any idiot would think this is a dog, I don't know. The quality of this community is really going downhill as of late, which is very sad.
If you want a REAL BiGDOG then I can set you straight. Big Henry, Orbit, and Amazing Gusto are all topnotch big dogs. Of course you can't beat the best dog of all, Panzer. Pound for pound he is above and beyond the competition, and apparently over the heads of most of the idiots on this site.
--BiGDOG--? more like ToP DOG.
Click here to see BiGDOG's Kennel
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and crowd-sourced internet reviews.