This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.




Hazard


Age:
6 years old
Breed:
Rhodesian Ridgeback
Location:
Shaggy Butte
Gender:
Male
Relationship Status:
Widower
Followers:
3,242


Posted by Angelic_Groomer 3 days ago

I said such nice things about this dog, but it's clear he was pulling our chains. What a criminal, the way he just fled from the scene when poor Hope was dead. I hope he gets what's coming to him. It won't be a high-quality grooming session from me, either. It will be the Lord's Justice: bloody, painful and never-ending.

Posted by DogGoneIt 3 days ago

Well, this is tough. Just diagnosed myself with PTSD from what I witnessed. Been replaying that horrible sight in my head over and over again, and can't get over the fact Hazard just ran away. He was at the center of the storm with Hope, but he was the first to break away. It should have been him.

Hazard and Hope were inseparable, like salt and pepper. If their love could end this way, then I will never trust another living soul.

Posted by Doctor Dog 2 days ago

I'm not convinced Hazard killed Hope, but I am convinced he got her pregnant. FACT: multiple people in the chatrooms confirmed seeing Hazard heading toward Hope's house in the days before her family went on vacation. Coincidence? Not possible.

Since Hope was away on vacation with her family, this might have been the first time the other dogs found out. I know it would whip me into a murderous frenzy knowing the most beautiful woman in town was pregnant by someone other than me. And let me tell you, there wasn't a male dog in the crowd that wasn't crazy about Hope.

Posted by PoodleFur 2 days ago

The father is definitely Hazard. Hope would not lower herself to any other dog in this town. SHE IS NOT LIKE THAT. Hazard and Hope have been together for years. I used to see them at the park every week, playing and having fun. The rumors about her and Thriller were spread by vile people who can't stomach the idea of true love.

Posted by Harold 1 day ago

Before that horrible fight, I managed to get a microphone on Corn. Since some idiots blocked my shot and ruined my footage, all I have to go on is the audio. I have been listening to it over and over again. I can clearly make out what sounds like Hazard saying "aroooo" followed by Meathook's distinctive growling. It is very difficult to make out over Corn's wheezing but that tells you everything right there. Hazard is innocent.

Harold

Posted by Randy F 1 day ago

THREE SILHOUETTES IN THE DISTANCE OUTSIDE COMPOUND NOW. IDENTIFIED LIMPING ONE AS HAZARD. BASED ON URINARY STANCE, OTHER DOG APPEARS FEMALE. THE BLACK DOG HAS COMPANY.

"LOOKS LIKE THREE DOGS IN THE DISTANCE," REMARKED COUSIN LEVI. "YES," RESPONDED UNCLE LEVI.

ALL THREE OF US NODDED HEADS IN UNISON.

Posted by BigDog 6 hours ago

Hazard the father? He didn't have the cojones to pull that off. Literally. All you Hazard-Hope shippers have been in denial about that for years. They may as well be siblings.

Smart money's on Thriller. He and Hope were gallivanting around plenty before her vacation. If I were Hazard, I would be pretty peeved at Thriller. Hazard may not be the killer, but it's not like he protected his darling Hope from the real killer.

All this high school drama has me longing for some true romance and intrigue, the kind you got from great dogs like Promise and Chattanooga, Boniface V and Torrid, or even the forbidden love affair of Dumpling and Coroner.

This young adult BS is getting old. Let's bring some maturity back to the dog scene.

'nuff said.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

About this series

The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and crowd-sourced internet reviews.

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.