Your professors don't care about your time. They don't care that writing essays interfere with your Madden07 season or your regimented beer-pong practice schedule before the tournament. Hell, most professors don't even care about the quality of your paper. No, they only care about the bottom line, length.
Midterms are coming up for most universities. Since my school has a bizarre schedule, I'm already on spring break. I know you're jealous, but I'm here to help you. Writing essays is 10% learning the information, 90% learning the system.
Writing a ten-page paper can be difficult, but by following these steps you can write at least fifteen with minimal effort. We all know the common changes like larger margins and periods, but here are a few tricks that are about to revolutionize the field.
This is a sample essay with the most important features pointed out.
* Some of the best Novel-it-up Techniques include:
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.