This article is part of the CONEX Convict Connections series.

CONEX > D Block > For Sale > Work For a Nigga


Holla At: Red Whisker @ D Block on 7
Askin: pills, spitwine, hash, dots, the slugs that taste like wood and dance in your brain
Niggas word: IS BOND (98 in last 3 months)

Red Whisker got a tattoo for ya little boys. Got a tattoo.

Come up to Tier 7. Lay down. Get a tattoo. A special one.

Red Whisker has dreams with letters he ain't seen before. Ain't come from no alphabet he seen before. The dream says put them on people and make the pictures real nice. Make 'em just right.

C-Zar down on tier 4 made me this tattoo gun. Ink you up real nice. Get your skin real nice and ready for Red Whisker, let him put his ink in you. BZZZZZ. Just a little tingle-wingle. BZZZZ. Put his magic letter on your back, on your arm, on your special places.

You like pictures? Red Whisker got pictures. I got a picture of what the color is inside dying. I got a picture of the shape of the end and the beginning of time. I can draw in the sweet lady of Egypt, deathless, laughing, beckoning to every wayward man.

At night when you sleep you will dream of the tattoos Red Whisker gives you, so choose good. Choose 'em right. Because at night they will come alive while you dream. Come alive and have a good old time.

Now it's dark here in Lambspoke. Darker and colder every day. And the lights can barely see through the smoke. We move in closer, closer, to gather round our candles. Just enough light, brother. Just enough to put in the ink and make you whole again.

Come on to Tier 7. Red Whisker will give you what you need.

  • Location: Lambspoke, D-Block, Tier 7
  • Smuggles to: Nothing to be shipped unless you want to leave parts of your body behind and I can catch them up to you.

InmateID: 4023558344

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

About this series

The inmates of Lambspoke Penitentiary utilize the CONEX network to exchange goods, services, and rumors as things begin to go amiss at Lambspoke.

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.