I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant is a television program in which human beings relate their actual tales of stealth fetuses that did not make their presence known until they dropped a smoke bomb and rappelled out of the womb. Each episode features a dramatic recreation in the style of Unsolved Mysteries, by which I mean a hilarious recreation.
The baby's first contact tends to be with the cold water of a toilet bowl, its mother staring dumbly in a mixture of horror and repulsion for a good while as the tiny human flails about and nearly drowns. This is the sort of thing that is best seen in small doses, popping up for a few minutes on The Soup. Anything more than that and you'd slide from bemused shock to the sort of full-on depression that comes with watching one of those daytime judge shows or the pseudo-science infomercial that is Dr. Oz.
Somehow, though, the show exists as a stand-alone entity that people have watched since 2008. The clamor for programming based upon people not knowing things is surprisingly huge (you make the Fox News and/or political radio joke). In fact, the show's producers have created a number of spinoffs to capitalize on the burgeoning genre.
I Didn't Know I Was Omniscient
I Didn't Know It Was Creepy To Make My Online Portrait A Picture Of Me Kissing Someone
I Have No Idea Where This Book Is Going But I'll Continue To Silently Read It
I Can't Tell Where I Am On This Map Of The Mall, Tell My Family I Love Them Very Much
I Didn't Know This Was A TV Show
I Didn't Know It Wasn't Butter, Your Honor
I Had No Clue That There Was A Difference Between Trolling And Actual Humor
I Didn't Know My House Was Just A Caveman Exhibit At The Museum Of Natural History
I Can't Tell The Difference Between Bottled Water And Vinegar So I Just Buy Whatever's Cheaper
I Had No Idea That Europeans Were So Sensitive About Wolf-Whistling At Their Naked Titty Statues
I Didn't Know Math Was The One With The Numbers
I Didn't Realize I Was Awake, Please Tell Your Family I'm Sorry For Swimming Through The Air
I Was Shocked That The Naruto Pregnancy Test I Ordered Was Just A Candy Shaped Like A Pregnancy Test
I Thought I Accidentally Left The Coffee Maker On When I Left In The Morning, But I Didn't
I Didn't Know This Tattoo Of A Swastika On My Face Supported Racism, I Just Like Hitler
I Didn't Know The Segway Had Already Been Invented
I Didn't Realize That String Theory Wasn't Taught With String Cheese, And Now I'm Stuck Being A Scientist
I Didn't Know The Konami Code Even Though I Said I Did, And Now My Spouse Is Gone
I Didn't Know There Was A Show Called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant
I Had No Idea Where The People In That Car Were Going But I Tried To Give Them Directions Anyway
I Didn't Know That Ignorance Of A Law Wasn't A Defense
I Didn't Know That Time Was Linear, Sorry About Burning Your Chicken Nuggets
I Didn't Realize That Wrestling Was Fake, I Was Only Trying To Protect My Family
I Don't Know Who The Musical Guests Are On Saturday Night Live
I Didn't Know Jack - I Thought I Did, But There Was This Whole Other Side That He Kept Hidden
I Don't Know The Difference Between Fahrenheit And Centigrade So I Just Wear Cargo Shorts All The Time
I Didn't Know "Nasty Buttworms" Wasn't A Clinical Term And Now I'm Facing A Malpractice Suit
I Had No Idea That Was Gary Oldman, Wow!
I Didn't Know The Mirror With An Airbrushed Wizard That I Bought At The Fair For Ten Dollars Wasn't Actually An Original Van Gogh
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.