This article is part of the Dog Classifieds series.
Don't forget to look through the back pages for even more exciting canine specimens!
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
gee, sun, thanks for life and warmth and light. you totally did it on purpose and aren't just a stupid exploding deathtrap
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A hardy sampling of the dogs available for free or for purchase through your local newspaper classified ads. If you ever need to adopt a faithful canine companion, look no further.