Another American Independence Day, another batch of local news and Internet videos featuring fire departments warning about the dangers of fireworks. Dozens killed every year, hundreds maimed, thousands sent to the hospital, blah, blah, blah. The fun police don't want children blowing off their faces for some reason. But can you actually discern the apocalyptic fear mongering of local fire departments from heavy metal lyrics? Give it a try.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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