Another American Independence Day, another batch of local news and Internet videos featuring fire departments warning about the dangers of fireworks. Dozens killed every year, hundreds maimed, thousands sent to the hospital, blah, blah, blah. The fun police don't want children blowing off their faces for some reason. But can you actually discern the apocalyptic fear mongering of local fire departments from heavy metal lyrics? Give it a try.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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