Another American Independence Day, another batch of local news and Internet videos featuring fire departments warning about the dangers of fireworks. Dozens killed every year, hundreds maimed, thousands sent to the hospital, blah, blah, blah. The fun police don't want children blowing off their faces for some reason. But can you actually discern the apocalyptic fear mongering of local fire departments from heavy metal lyrics? Give it a try.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.