Another American Independence Day, another batch of local news and Internet videos featuring fire departments warning about the dangers of fireworks. Dozens killed every year, hundreds maimed, thousands sent to the hospital, blah, blah, blah. The fun police don't want children blowing off their faces for some reason. But can you actually discern the apocalyptic fear mongering of local fire departments from heavy metal lyrics? Give it a try.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.