You play bass in an indie band with an animal themed name.
You enjoy the smell of diesel gas on your fingers and your step-son does not.
You live in New Mexico, 1992 and today is your homecoming dance.
You frequently ask how anyone could drive a car other than a Volvo.
Your bellybutton smells and you secretly like it.
You recently raided your grandfather's closet.
You are nearly complete with your Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor fan-fic.
-Davidson of Tulloch-
Your favorite band is Nirvana, still.
Your mother shops at Baby Gap.
You have touched a girl and it was exactly like the internet said it would be like.
-Black Watch (Small Check)-
You are on the cover of Snoop Dog's 1993 album Doggystyle.
You have no opinion on Chinese human rights violations,
but you know what it takes to host a mean crawfish bake.
You have a deep connection with corduroy
You didn't pay child support but you got these bitchin' Oakleys.
You are legitimately cold.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.