You play bass in an indie band with an animal themed name.
You enjoy the smell of diesel gas on your fingers and your step-son does not.
You live in New Mexico, 1992 and today is your homecoming dance.
You frequently ask how anyone could drive a car other than a Volvo.
Your bellybutton smells and you secretly like it.
You recently raided your grandfather's closet.
You are nearly complete with your Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor fan-fic.
-Davidson of Tulloch-
Your favorite band is Nirvana, still.
Your mother shops at Baby Gap.
You have touched a girl and it was exactly like the internet said it would be like.
-Black Watch (Small Check)-
You are on the cover of Snoop Dog's 1993 album Doggystyle.
You have no opinion on Chinese human rights violations,
but you know what it takes to host a mean crawfish bake.
You have a deep connection with corduroy
You didn't pay child support but you got these bitchin' Oakleys.
You are legitimately cold.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.