You play bass in an indie band with an animal themed name.
You enjoy the smell of diesel gas on your fingers and your step-son does not.
You live in New Mexico, 1992 and today is your homecoming dance.
You frequently ask how anyone could drive a car other than a Volvo.
Your bellybutton smells and you secretly like it.
You recently raided your grandfather's closet.
You are nearly complete with your Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor fan-fic.
-Davidson of Tulloch-
Your favorite band is Nirvana, still.
Your mother shops at Baby Gap.
You have touched a girl and it was exactly like the internet said it would be like.
-Black Watch (Small Check)-
You are on the cover of Snoop Dog's 1993 album Doggystyle.
You have no opinion on Chinese human rights violations,
but you know what it takes to host a mean crawfish bake.
You have a deep connection with corduroy
You didn't pay child support but you got these bitchin' Oakleys.
You are legitimately cold.
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.