You hand over the laptop and beg him to not hurt you. You also piss your pants. The dude laughs as he walks away. Even after he turns the corner onto the main road, you can still hear him mocking you and your high-pitched voice. The warm fluid trickles down your leg, but it doesn't matter. You just lost a year's worth of work and your entire portfolio. It's too late to back that stuff up now. You're hopeless with nothing to show. You are truly worthless. If you had a real job, you'd get fired from it now.
Our fake testimonials lower customers' defenses by making your company appear reliable and desirable. How does it work? An advanced algorithm (coded and executed entirely in NewtonScript) looks for words on the internet and then it finds some names and adds those too.
Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige lays out the plan for Marvel launching a movie based around a female super hero's ass.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.