You hand over the laptop and beg him to not hurt you. You also piss your pants. The dude laughs as he walks away. Even after he turns the corner onto the main road, you can still hear him mocking you and your high-pitched voice. The warm fluid trickles down your leg, but it doesn't matter. You just lost a year's worth of work and your entire portfolio. It's too late to back that stuff up now. You're hopeless with nothing to show. You are truly worthless. If you had a real job, you'd get fired from it now.
[sauntering up to joss whedon giving magazine interview] Hey are these guys bothering you
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Ben Garrison's Cartoons explained; Part 2!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.