You stumble to your feet and make your way to your apartment. You slip in and out of consciousness until you open the door. The room seems to darken with every step. Blood splatters against your laptop screen as you cough. You try to type your password in, but your fingers don't seem to work, they falter and fall heavily across the keys. When you finally get it right, your wifi goes out.

You crawl to your router and restart the modem. When it's up, you sign in and send the assignment. It makes it just in time. You pass out on the floor.

– Ian "Salmon Season" Golding (@iggolding)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful