You order another drink and talk to the person. The conversation is amazing. They're witty, they're smart, they're stunningly beautiful. You talk and talk and talk. It's like a Christian Mingle commercial if it ended with the couple groping one another until the bar closes. You forget your friends, the cancelled healthcare, the pain in the ass assignment due in the morning, you forget everything and follow the person to their apartment.
Short story: You have a great night.
Long Story: You have a great night, but you don't finish your assignment. Now you're broke and you lose your apartment. You meet with the person again, but it's not the same when they have to pick you up from your mom's, and they really hate it when you try to crash on their couch.
Come on, you're a freelancer. There's no time for love.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.