You order another drink and talk to the person. The conversation is amazing. They're witty, they're smart, they're stunningly beautiful. You talk and talk and talk. It's like a Christian Mingle commercial if it ended with the couple groping one another until the bar closes. You forget your friends, the cancelled healthcare, the pain in the ass assignment due in the morning, you forget everything and follow the person to their apartment.
Short story: You have a great night.
Long Story: You have a great night, but you don't finish your assignment. Now you're broke and you lose your apartment. You meet with the person again, but it's not the same when they have to pick you up from your mom's, and they really hate it when you try to crash on their couch.
Come on, you're a freelancer. There's no time for love.
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Garfield is a poison of bigotry on our culture and I have never been more offended on behalf of people than I am right now.
Ben Garrison's Cartoons are finally explained!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.