|02/20/11||KinFX Face Depumpkinizing Salon Gel - Bath & Body Works||$768.00|
|02/21/11||4 Jackets from the Cindy McCain Collection - Nordstrom's||$375.00|
|03/09/11||10 Golf Shirts, Albino Woman's Medium - Macy's||$206.00|
|03/09/11||14 Golf Shirts, 14 khaki shorts, Adult Baby Size - Macy's||$374.00|
|03/27/11||FollowMe Twitter Bot - Chinese Trojan Free Software (Unless You Want Trojan)||$1000.00|
|04/02/11||Swarovski Crystal, Diamond and 24 kt Gold Faberge Egg (Dinosaur Size) in Rhino Horn Display Stand - Tiffany's||$500,000.00|
|04/18/11||Hickory Dracula's "Bumpkin" Widow's Peak Sculpting Comb - Paul Ryan's Amazon Wishlist||$600.00|
|05/12/11||Pain & Suffering Installment to Family of Baby Emotionally Harmed By Wife's Unearthly Gaze||$8,002.00|
|06/09/11||Brownback Deluxe Package Complete Campaign Staff - Liberty University||$75,000.00|
|06/11/11||Royalties Payment for Without FDR: Alf Landon's Peaceful Settlement with Hitler to the Benefit of Free Markets Alternate History Novel||$28.00|
|06/18/11||How to Convince Everyone You are Seriously, Actually Running for President Without Even Trying - Amazon||$18.75|
|06/20/11||TV Roundtable Appearance Fee - Fox News - This Week in Videos of Obama to Shake Your Fist At||$450.00|
|06/29/11||Mistress's Hotel Room - Concord, NH Marriott||$255.00|
|06/29/11||Dominatrix's Hotel Room - Concord, NH Marriott||$255.00|
|06/29/11||Wife's Hotel Room - Concord, NH Marriott||$255.00|
|07/07/11||Drunken Calls to Texas Governor's Mansion - AT&T||$74.00|
|07/18/11||"My Other Dick is a Scaife" Novelty Boxers (500) - Ecuador T-shirt Incorporated||$1,318.00|
|07/18/11||"I'm a Washington Outsider" T-shirt (500) - Ecuador T-shirt Incorporated||$1,008.00|
|02/08/12||"Congratulations! We Won New Hampshire!" Banner Cancellation||$85.00|
|02/09/12||Refund for Unused Portion of Brownback Deluxe Package - Liberty University||$12,800|
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.