Hello! And welcome to another edition of AwfulVision!
Sometimes, here at AwfulVision, I like to do something a little different. "But Seth 'Occupy Japan' Bailey," you say, "I thought you were hired to write unfunny things about bad YouTube videos!". This is very true, and while I won't be deviating from the unfunny part, I do sometimes like to deviate from the "random bad videos" part if AwfulVision happens to fall on a certain date or I find something particularly noteworthy to dedicate an entire article to.
I'm sure you can probably guess what today's article is about!
Yes, as luck would have it, AwfulVision just so happened to fall on election day here in the good ol' US of A, so instead of making fun of fat juggalos and fat furries and fat libertarians, I thought I'd dedicate this article to some of the greatest political hits (and misses) ever caught on tape.
And don't worry: this is American politics we're talking about. There's still plenty of "awful".
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!