Welcome to the shareware edition of FPS (Fun Parser Shooter). Prepare to frag your enemies in the first three levels of single player mode and frag your friends in the included deathmatch level, and when you're ready to experience all 32 levels of awesomeness found in the full version just register online! We at Corinsoft thank you for checking out our game and remind you that our previous titles are still available in fine software stores everywhere.

Menu
--------
- Single Player
- Deathmatch
- Settings
- Quit

Please choose an option from the menu above:

> settings

Settings
------------
- Text on/off
- Main menu

Please choose an option from the menu above:

> main menu

Menu
--------
- Single Player
- Deathmatch
- Settings
- Quit

Please choose an option from the menu above:

> single player

You are Grunt Flintlock, a space marine employed by Government Corporation to investigate incredibly dangerous situations involving aliens. GovCorp spares no expense in the protection of Earth, as your obscenely expensive armor proves. Just look at how bulky it is! As usual, you arrive at your latest mission via dropship armed with only a butter knife and a communications headset that rarely works.

As your eyesight adjusts to the dark tunnel you find yourself in, your headset crackles to life as some sexy chick with big tits back at headquarters contacts you.

"Hey Grunt! Now that you're actually at the mission site and in extreme peril, it's time to brief you with your objectives!"

You reply to her with some Bruce Campbell line or maybe something from They Live, and she gets totally turned on.

"Oh Grunt, you're so manly! Now's not the time for romance though! The Hooples' alien force has struck the first blow against humanity! They've set up base in the largest sewer system in all of Germany! Ah! They plan on using alien technology and Satanic rituals to conjure up the long-dead Nazi army with some sort of evil portal! It's a million to one shot that you'll make it through this all by yourself Grunt, but frankly it's Christmas eve and we couldn't get anyone else to show up! Wait, Grunt! It looks like you've got company! My scanners indicate a lar- *static* - headed your way! That can't be right! Do you -"

With nothing but static emitting from your headset, you click the device off and plunge headlong into the tunnel and the danger ahead. Three steps later, you come across a SHOTGUN laying on the ground.

> pick up shotgun

It doesn't work like that. Try walking onto it.

> walk onto shotgun

You place your trusty butter knife into your pocket and wield the shotgun. It's a single-barrel weapon which is very effective at close range, and you just happen to be the kind of guy that likes to be within smooching distance when you blow someone's head off in a shower of grey matter and skull fragments.

You continue down the sewer, the sounds of approaching Hoople forces drawing nearer. It's pretty scary. At an intersection, you find ANOTHER SHOTGUN.

> walk onto another shotgun

You pick up another shotgun and put the first one away because this one has two barrels. That means it has roughly 4 times the power. Suddenly, a HOOPLE attacks!

> shoot hoople

You shoot the hoople, and as his lifeless body falls to the floor his weapon lands at your feet. It is a FOUR BARREL SHOTGUN.

> walk onto four barrel shotgun

You put the double-barrel shotgun away with the first, and wield the four-barrel shotgun. Which path of the intersection will you follow?

> go left

Confident thanks to your newfound firepower, you swagger down the sewer tunnel to the left. It's a dead end, but at the very end you see a GREEN KEYCARD.

> walk onto green keycard

You attempt to collect the GREEN KEYCARD, but it won't budge. You'll need to find the BLUE KEYCARD to activate it.

> go back

You turn around and make your way back to the intersection. Which way will you go?

> go straight

This is a dead end too, but at the end of this tunnel awaits a powerful weapon. The MST 3000 is an advanced rifle which allows the user to manipulate the laws of physics, so you could pick up a car and shoot it at someone or flail somebody around the room by their head. The number of ways in which you could kill someone with this thing are infinite.

> walk onto MST 3000

The MST 3000 is a delicate and experimental device, and by stepping on it like a retard you completely break it. Inside its broken shell, however, is a six-barrel shotgun. You put your four-barrel shotgun away with the others and wield it proudly.

A Nazi zombie approaches!

> main menu

Menu
--------
- Single Player
- Deathmatch
- Settings
- Quit

Please choose an option from the menu above:

> deathmatch

Servers
----------
1. cRaZy LaRrY's MoNkEy HoUsE oF oStRiChEs
Description: AnImAl NaMeS aRe KoOkY aNd HiLaRiOuS!

2. Clan #-^-+-( Deathbringer )-+-^-#'s practice server
Description: ONLY #-^-+-( Deathbringer )-+-^-# members allowed no noobs

3. Linux Linux Linux Linux Linux Linux Linux Lin
Description: Linux server, no Winblowz users allowed

4. HARDCORE SERVER
Description: Alternate rules, no guns allowed. Only bullets. The ultimate test of skill!

5. default
Description: server

Please choose a server from the menu above:

> 5

Connecting to default...

Welcome to deathmatch mode! This exciting map is essentially a big medieval castle in hell, with lots of spires and lava and stained glass. There's all sorts of hallways that serve absolutely no purpose other than leading directly into other hallways. Have fun!

Other players on this server: Skullcrusher, Eternal_Warrior, [FARK]Domokun, EugeneWilliams

> shoot skullcrusher

You shot Skullcrusher! Your kill count is now at 1.

> shoot Eternal_Warrior

You shot Eternal_Warrior! Your kill count is now at 2.

You have been shot by Skullcrusher!

EugeneWilliams says: gg
EugeneWilliams says: next map
Skullcrusher says: theres only one map faggo

[FARK]Domokun has been fragged by Eternal_Warrior!
EugeneWilliams says: oh lol

You have obtained the Quad Damage powerup!

> shoot [FARK]Domokun

You shoot [FARK]Domokun, and he dies four times thanks to your powerup. Your kill count is now at 6.

> say "Am I missing something? This game sort of sucks, all we're doing is typing names."

You have been shot by Skullcrusher!

Skullcrusher says: its type or be typed bitch
Skullcrusher says: if u arent good enuff go cry, dont blame th game for sucking
EugeneWilliams says: lol

> shoot everyone

You have shot everyone! Your kill count is now at 10. You win the round!

[FARK]Domokun says: OMFG HAX CHEETZ
EugeneWilliams says: gg
EugeneWilliams says: next map

You have been kicked from the server by Skullcrusher.

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