EXT. NIGHTMARE ISLAND COAST - NIGHT
The crashing waves bring debris ashore as bursts of lightning illuminate the night. INDIANA JONES desperately tries to keep his head above water. He tumbles in the waves, plunges deep into the water, and finally fights his way back to the surface. He hits the shore and manages to crawl out of the water. He is choking. There is a DEAD BODY on the shore beside him.
INDIANA JONESOh no...Short Round. I should have never asked you to come along.
(seeing the dead body)
Indy starts puking. A massive wave crashes ashore bringing pieces of the sunken freighter. As Indy searches for other survivors, someone hits him in the head with a rock.
INT. CHAMBER OF BLOOD AND SKULLS
Skulls and blood and rotten dead bodies are everywhere. Dozens of them. Indy is oozing blood from a gross head wound. We see that someone has been crucified above an altar and all their guts are hanging out. Indy is tied up, but he manages to cut himself loose, but as he falls he lands on spikes impaling his leg. He starts puking again when he sees the wound, crying a little too, but then he gets up. He is dirty and covered in blood and looks super upset.
Indiana Jones sees the crucified body.
INDIANA JONESSallah...what have they done...this is all my fault.
Indy smells the gross guts hanging out of Sallah.
INDIANA JONESYou smell worse on the inside, old friend.
Indy hears voices and quickly hides in the shadows to escape.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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