All Aboard the No Content Express!
Going to Seattle. In the process of moving. Content and news updates will be sporadic for the next three weeks while I move north and get relocated. In the meantime, Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons will continue to update with his unbridled hilarity and nonstop wacky antics. Watch for his upcoming news post which details the time I got arrested for molesting a broom handle at the zoo! (NOTE TO CONCERNED PARENTS AND PEOPLE WHO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOR: I didn't really get arrested for molesting a broom handle. It was an elderly Jewish man)
Also, as previously stated before, the shirts are going out. I have outsourced the shipping process to The Hair Giant, and he has given me his word that all orders will be sent out by this Friday. They are being shipped via US Mail, which means you should probably get yours before the next century (and when you do, it will have inexplicable tire treadmarks all across it). I apologize to anybody hoping to get their shirts a week or so ago, but I never really planned for eFront to screw all their hosted sites so badly, fail to pay server bills, and cause me to relocate the server within days. As I stated before, I'm also in the process of moving to Seattle, so things here are intensely chaotic at best. Or at worst. I can't really tell anymore. In any rate, this also explains why I haven't been able to keep with and respond to all my email, so please be patient.
In the meantime, please enjoy a candid picture of myself and the face of Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen. I am pictured holding an Orb removable drive, while Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen is seen performing a bit of the ol' softshoe. Also note that his head has been Photoshopped onto the body of Mr. Peanut.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.