Just Another Slacker Sunday

Today's Sunday update is brought to you by, well, nobody, since Ben "Greasnin" Platt is apparently never updating any time anymore ever! Wow! I know somebody who's not getting a Christmas card this year. We run a real professional racket here at Something Awful. We're like a well oiled machine full of sawdust and semen.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

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